Their Words for Our Lives...

It may not be obvious based on my writing, but I'm a bit nuts. It's the truth. When I'm at home around my parents, I'm a sane individual with complete control over my actions.

But when I'm out of the house and having a good time, or even at work (shh! don't tell anyone) where there are people I can talk to:

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. -- Oscar Wilde

My brain is really close to my mouth. I mean, it's in the same bone structure. That's not my fault. Blame evolution, or god, or whoever the hell decided to put them so close to each other. What's worse is that my ears are connected to all this, too. You can't honestly expect me not to say completely wonky or outrageous things when my brain hears, processes, formulates a response, and delivers said response to my mouth all in a matter of a few seconds.

People talk about having a filter. That one needs to think before they speak. I do! That's how I make my words, generally. I hope you all do, too, otherwise you're facing a serious anatomy fail. But let's be serious, if I thought about everything I wanted to say before I said it, I'd miss some prime opportunities for hilarity. Amusement and humor is about the sacred moments after a statement is laid out for everyone to hear. It's like a train that comes flying through the station, and if you don't find a way to get on said train...well, there's no telling when the next one's coming through.

It's like walking a really humongous dog, sometimes. It pulls and pulls and pulls at you, until you don't even know where you're at anymore. You started out on pastry street (I work in a bakery), and you end up at the Eiffel Tower surrounded by five miming elephants who are begging for a crepe and doing handstands.

What?

It's fun, though. Let your hair down. Dance. Be silly. Shake your ass!

Pardon my foul language.

Oscillate your hind end, on occasion!

Let it all hang out. Well, not all of it. That's gross. Especially in public. You'll go to jail.

But seriously, have fun with it. I've done the calculations, and in a completely unofficial, non-scientific, but totally true and surprising find, most people can afford to have seven screws come completely loose, with one hanging half out jiggling dangerously. Mind you, this is all temporary. If you suffer from the condition of permanent screw-loosedness, proceed with caution.

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Something a little different than normal, but it's hard to be serious all the time. It's not in my nature. I'm gonna try to go for smaller posts more frequently, but I'll still do a big one if the feeling strikes me. Thanks for being patient with me as I try to figure out just what I'm doing on here.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know. If you didn't, step away from the computer!

Kidding of course. Later, all.